Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats worse then a Republican? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

thumb_up thumb_down +33

That's what he said.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

This site is hilarious oh wait...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the guy say to the mushroom?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

thumb_up thumb_down +27

whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The size of Idris Elba's penis

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I've got the moobs like jagger.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why Because

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Brett Farve

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops