Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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no

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

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come along children

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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Why Because

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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