Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Real jokes.

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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9/11

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why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

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Herman Cain

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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amy copied adams haircut :0

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what's funnier than the holocaust? 2 holocausts and 9/11

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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Why was the boy un-able to talk He was retarded

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Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Perpresher

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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