Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

potato

thumb_up thumb_down -3

lol

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

hi bye

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do you stop a train? you cant..

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What is a mexicans favorite sport? Whatever he is interested in.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

thumb_up thumb_down +58

The government makes a good decision

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

thumb_up thumb_down +54

SPAMS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops