Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

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Whats worse than having no mother? Having no mother and father, enabling you to have to support a family at the age of 12, using the allowance that your parents are supposed to give you once a week.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Goat balls.

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Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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What's worse than forgetting a punchline?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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