Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

yo momma is so stupid she went to the beach and the whales song " dooooooonnn't stop. belieeeeving. wwwwwhoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOA"

What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

how do you stop a train? you cant..

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

A Jew returns change.

Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

What do you call a teacher that gets wasted? A wasted teacher.

How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

ur mother

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

SPAMS!!!

69

Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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