husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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Fruitcake

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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Shit.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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Chocolate rain Awesome!

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A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

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What what In the butt

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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What did the American call the Arab? Nothing the American could not talk because he suffered from throat cancer because of the effects of 9/11 and thus causing his hatred towards Arabs and led to the Arabs death. Green

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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