I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +15

hi ....................... oh i thought this was a chat room !!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Jasper sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Baseball

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

¿Por qué seis de los siete miedo? ¡Porque siete ocho nueve!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Benevolent villain.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

if it's friday, it must be China

thumb_up thumb_down -9

suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops