How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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Q: where did the pickle live? A: In the desert

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

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Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

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An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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What's grosser than gross? Grosser. What's grosser than that? Grossest.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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69

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops