What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

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why were there moans coming from the sandusky household Mike sandusky, was having sex with his beutiful wife, maria meanwhile Mike's cousin, jerry was sitting in a jail cell

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Why was it so easy for Superman to pick up chics? His butt ox.

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

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Myspace

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-Why did Sara fall off the swing? -I don't know, why? -She had no arms, knock knock -Who's there? -Not Sara.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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