Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

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Rob Bell

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

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You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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