What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

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What did the boy say after he hit his head? I just hit my head.

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What is the difference between a Mac user and a PC user? The operating system that they prefer to use.

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A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

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Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

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which of the following is right -the yoke is white -the yoke are white neither the yoke is yellow

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DANA

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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SAY

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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womans rights

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what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy There's the kitchen Sandwich maybe?

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

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What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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Hello

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What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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