Hey, come here often? No.

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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I am black.

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

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BIG PENIS

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Why did the man cross the inerstate? Well, he only got half way till he got hit by a truck, but he wanted to, it was suicide. oh ya, it wasnt a man it was a chicken. oh well. They are both dead.

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Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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