What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What comes after "Q" R

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A fish walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why was the man hit by the train? A: He was tied to the rail road tracks...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops