A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

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Why was the mom sad cause she had an abortion

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

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God.

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Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

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My dad beats my mom At checkers

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What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

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Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

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That awkward moment when you thought this joke was going to be good but you thought wrong. Keep looking for good jokes.

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a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Three men walked into a metal pole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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