Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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whats stupid, retarded, and dumb an Erin Perri.

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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A penguin walks into a bar and orders a beer................ PENGUINS DON'T WALK OR TALK

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What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

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a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

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How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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Why did the black man run? There was a mass murderer chasing him with a chainsaw.

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

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Q: What do you call a gray box without a joke in it? A: I don't know but you'd better think of something.

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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