There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

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Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

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The Aristocrats

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Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

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What did the white guy the black guy and the Asian all have in common Penises

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A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

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A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the gay guy's house . Knock knock . Who's there? The chicken.

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? who cares even if they could screw it in it wouldnt work because there to poor to aford electricity

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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Satan called. I put him on hold.

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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i wish i was a tree !

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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