How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

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RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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A baby seal walks into a club

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? seeing this joke 1000 times on this website

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

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Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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