What is the difference between a Mac user and a PC user? The operating system that they prefer to use.

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

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how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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Ok, So what happens when an Irishman, Rabbi, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Nothing the Black guys a recovering alcoholic and is supported by his loving family and friends, especially by his son Martin who he promised to stop drinking when he was 7.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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Freedom of Speech

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9:11 make a wish

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

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What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

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A fat man buys a salad

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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Hello

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why is there a hole in the wall, i hope a prehistoric mole doesnt come out of that hole in the ball CC

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what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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What is the difference between a man and a woman? Genitals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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