Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the football coach go to the bank? to make a deposit into his account

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's similar about a black person and an apple? Nothing, an apple is a fruit. It has nothing to do with hanging from trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call 2 black men sitting on a porch? Craig and Smokey

thumb_up thumb_down -9

wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the little boy with cancer do? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

GooglePlus.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops