Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

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What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

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Brittney Spears

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did you hear about the sidewalk? its all over town.

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

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the WNBA

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

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Women's rights.

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Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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God is religiously proven to be real

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

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Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops