3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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What do apples taste like? Apples.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

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A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

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God is religiously proven to be real

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The jets are a good team..

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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FOLLOW ME @airvvv

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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