What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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Women's rights

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Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

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Your mum is dead

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What is 6 plus 9? 15

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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Brittney Spears

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

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What do you call a group of asians? China.

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

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Why did a man get arrested in a bar He was covered in bombs and charged with terrorism

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

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What does Paris Hilton eat on Tuesdays? Nothing.

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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why did the football coach go to the bank? to make a deposit into his account

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poop.........

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops