What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................a gay baby was just born.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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arse

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How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

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It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

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Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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What's the difference between above job and below job? Below job sucks

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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Whats worst then the Holocaust? Two holocaust's.

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Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

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What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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Hey what time is it. 3:15

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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why did the boy hug a very dislexic man it was his brother

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Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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