Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

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The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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...Jack Vale

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What do black men do in the South? Hang around

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

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Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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