What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

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Niko isnt a mexican douche

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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