Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Potato salad

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why are Jews so tight with there money? They want to be finanically stable and provide a future for their familys.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Lacrosse

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

anus soup

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What does Chuck Norris do when he breaks his legs? he calls a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Small breasts.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

i am predestal

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the boy get from Penn State University? A College Degree

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops