Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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Why did the cow go moo, because its a cow

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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Kate

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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im jewish

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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i hate you.

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if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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