What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why do Africans live in slums Because they have aids

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Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

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God is religiously proven to be real

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beiber i straight

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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