whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

alcoholism kills

Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

What's funny and arousing? This joke.

What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

Chocolate tastes good.

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

Haha pizza

Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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