How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

knock knock who's there a black person SHIT!!!!

Women's rights

A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

why was the bunny black? because it was born this way baby

What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Did you hear about the woman you got hit by a car? The Driver was intoxicated and had no control over his faculties which cause him to careen off of the road and hit this poor soul as she patiently waited at a crosswalk.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

Freddie Mercurys teeth

Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

What's brown and sticky? A stick

What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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