What's brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The Aristocrats

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the white guy the black guy and the Asian all have in common Penises

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

arse

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a bunch of black people in a red car.... A jaffa

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops