What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the dentist? A: Because he was dying of brain cancer.

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What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Slavery lol

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What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe. -Tag

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Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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Your mama so stupid, she put 2 quarters in her ears and said she was istening to Fiftycent

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

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To whomever it may concern, You are currently reading this anonymous letter from someone anonymous. I’m currently watching you read this letter. I am not a threat. I am not Big Brother. I am someone anonymous. You will never find out who I am. You may have a few ideas of who this might be, but you will be wrong. Just know that I am watching you. That is all. I love you. All for Jesus -A

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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