What's brown a sticky? -A stick

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

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Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

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What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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hi my name is? joe

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

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So one time this woman was learning...

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

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What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

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I met a man today. His name was John.

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Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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