What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

thumb_up thumb_down -44

knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

thumb_up thumb_down -46

if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

thumb_up thumb_down -76

what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

If life throws you lemons Catch them

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Women rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops