When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

thumb_up thumb_down +43

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

im jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Pickle!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops