A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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Whats long and hard? a pole

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Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

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Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? Well, one consists of two inanimate objects (a bucket and feces) and the other is a human being of African/African-American descent. As you can see there really is no real comparison here.

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What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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69

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Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

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Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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A chicken walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll it be?" His friends are very concerned about his sanity.

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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Why Because

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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Obama

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops