Murray Harnett Smells like a dirty Burringbar Whore!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The Aristocrats

thumb_up thumb_down

What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why was the kid named owen? Because thats what his parents wnted him to be named

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops