What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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im jewish

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knock, knock, TRICK OR TREAT

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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A man walks into a bar He has a water, he is sober

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

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What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

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A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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