What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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Do you want to hear a knock knock joke? (Yes) Okay, you start. (Knock knock). Who's there? ...

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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I am black.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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What do you call a racist guy surrounded by a gang of black pepole? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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