A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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Penis

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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A chicken walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll it be?" His friends are very concerned about his sanity.

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Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

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whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

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Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he's dead

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why is there a hole in the wall, i hope a prehistoric mole doesnt come out of that hole in the ball CC

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Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

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Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Freedom of Speech

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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