I had a dream I watched Inception.

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how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

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Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

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husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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gay marriage.

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Baseball

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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i feel bad for black people (even though u can't consider them people)

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

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Why did little Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

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Three men walked into a metal pole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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