Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

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what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

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Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops