Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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Black people are innocent.

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yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

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knock, knock, TRICK OR TREAT

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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What do you call a racist guy surrounded by a gang of black pepole? Dead.

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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