Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is 6 plus 9? 15

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black succeeds

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the chicken cross the road? because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Please don't rape me.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops