Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

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A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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Goat balls.

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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your moms so fat she has kankles

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

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what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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