how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

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Knock knock! Yes?

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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9/11 was a shocking time for all of us.

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

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Rob Bell

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Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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Chocolate tastes good.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

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Chocolate rain Awesome!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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