Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

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Nickelback

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car!

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Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

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What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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A black succeeds

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What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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Why were corners made? For crying.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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