What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

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Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

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Knock knock Who's there? Me. Idiot.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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minorities

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Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

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If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

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A person with OCD walked into a abr.

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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