what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

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Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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