The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Life on the line? I just do it for the kill and the potential savage rape and consumption! And yeah, a man is not a man but a boy if he cant protect his lady friends. HEY WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT! Why you playing so hard to get now? YOUR FLESH IS MINE! It is just like a billion pages ago where we where talking VERY down and dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

thumb_up thumb_down -12

which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red violets are blue this poem is stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is shit? It's Deshitified already.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops