Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

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Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

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If you don`t see a banner here, it doesn`t mean it wont come back to annoy you whenever it feels like.... P.S, Advertising helps us get rich while permanently harming your ability to focus, Please be understanding! PS: Why the hell do they use capital letters after you know, Commas? its, Weird!

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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Whats green and smells like bacon................. Green bacon

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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