What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops