How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your moms so fat, she needed repruductive surgury.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did Bella fly? Very badly.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops