What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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69

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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