What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops