What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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