What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

Dane Cook makes a joke.

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

roses are red poo is poo

Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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