Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Wgat did the umpire say to the asian batter? Foul ricebowl!

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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