Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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'knock knock' 'Who's there?" "the mailman, Ive got mail for you"

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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He--Hey guys

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

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Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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